I think it’s fair to say this is long overdue.
This is not only my first post since moving to Japan (which I’m already a month into). This is my first post in awhile. The amount of times in the past 3 months or even 2 years where I told people “I’ll start a blog” or “I’ll be writing in no time” vs. the amount of time actually spent writing is staggering. My goodwill currency ran out a long time ago.
There are a litany of excuses I’ve made to not write, not be productive, not be myself, and not show others what I’m experiencing. It’s easy to live with excuses until you can no longer accept them. Since taking my job as an English teacher in Japan, I can confidently say that some of those excuses are starting to wear thin. It’s somewhere around nine years in the making, but regardless there may be tangible progress at least being discovered.
One of the biggest challenges thus far has been learning not to make excuses, holding myself accountable and learning to budget my time appropriately. Making my time count here is crucial in a way that I never made it seem while I was in the States. And that’s not to say the people I’ve worked with or the opportunities I’ve had weren’t important, but I always felt there was a “next time” when it came to pushing myself towards my goals. While I appreciate that I never felt like time was running out, the lack of any urgency whatsoever seemed a little disturbing.
I think it was too easy to slip into those tendencies because I believed a) my actions never held significant consequences and b) improving my accountability was a minimal requirement. Obviously, that philosophy not always holds merit, but I firmly believed it that I was at my maximum capacity for quite some time.
That couldn’t be further from the truth.
I’m giving myself this opportunity to see how wrong that mentality is and how much I can accomplish. I developed a method of underselling myself instead of concentrating on a way to improve and help myself and those around me. My feelings and actions became contagious, thus I decided it was time to switch gears and do something I once thought would never happen.
I won’t make any guarantees or expect rapid growth, but I now find that even small steps are momentous in the long run.